How to Have More Energy as a Stay-at-Home Mom

Do you feel like you’re failing as a stay-at-home mom? That you’ll never be able to keep up with everything you have to do as you fall further and further behind each day? Do you feel guilty for putting your kids in front of the TV so that you can zone out and scroll your phone for a few minutes before forcing yourself to get up and start cleaning or making the next meal? Have you told yourself over and over that you want to get on top of everything - and start taking care of yourself too - but simply can’t seem to motivate yourself to actually do it?

Drop the self-judgment

The first thing to remember is that this is not who you are - there is no fundamental flaw in your character that’s making you “lazy” or “unmotivated” or “a procrastinator” - this is an energy you’ve stepped into right now and you can come out of it any time you want to.

You need to pay attention to your not feeling good right now (rather than researching cleaning hacks) because no amount of changing your external circumstances will improve your relationship to yourself. Your feelings come from your thoughts about you and your situation, and they’re not going to change just because you suddenly learn how to cook or clean more efficiently.

Judging ourselves for not “doing better” and telling ourselves we should be more productive only ever exhausts us, and then we spend even more time and energy trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with us or looking for ways to “fix” ourselves - when actually we are (and always have been) whole, worthy and complete exactly as we are.

Having compassion for ourselves allows us to witness how we’re feeling - without judging - and accept that where we are in this moment is right where we’re meant to be. Yet we rarely (if ever) stop to ask ourselves how it is right that we might not enjoy cooking and cleaning every day - not to mention the toddler tantrums, potty training, or any of the other things we’re telling ourselves we absolutely have to (happily) do.

Build up the self-trust

So instead of exhausting yourself with the idea that you need to fix your whole life right now, try taking a step back and narrowing down exactly what you want to focus on, according to your own priorities.

You may tell yourself you don’t even know what your priorities are but you do - we often don’t hear the wants and desires that can be felt in our bodies because our brains are so busy judging (ourselves, other people and our circumstances) all the time. And so we become accustomed to giving away our authority and allowing society to dictate our choices instead.

We can start to change this if we want to by first getting clear on our values (a helpful list can be found on James Clear’s website - circle your top five) and then deciding with intention how we want to spend our days with those values front of mind.

Next, choose to focus on just one thing you want to get done each day and then imagine how you’ll feel when you’ve got it done - really see it as “done” in your mind and feel it in your body. 

And then do the thing when you say you will! This builds up self-trust in the knowledge that you can rely on yourself completely - that when you want something, it’s done.

Celebrate YOU

Finally, make sure you take a moment to celebrate! Have a plan to do something you enjoy for a few minutes after you’ve checked a task off your to-do list - that might be scrolling social media, dancing to a favorite song, going for a walk with your kids, or sitting down with a cup of tea - and really enjoy doing something that feels good to you in your body. It’s important to be intentional about acknowledging what we have accomplished, however small or insignificant it may initially seem to us.

This not only gives us a boost of energy but can massively improve our relationship with ourselves. When you’re not acknowledging how amazing you truly are, if you’re feeling down on yourself and engaging in a lot of negative self-talk, your brain, which has a natural negativity bias, will find evidence of how you’re lacking everywhere you look.

But when you invest in celebrating yourself, and consciously direct your brain to actively look for the evidence of all the incredible ways you’re showing up, you then seek out even more of this, finding it in both your own actions and in other people’s words and behaviors. 

And when we truly live into this celebration of ourselves, we become energized and motivated to show up in a way that makes absolutely anything available to us as we step into each new day filled with possibility.

If you’d like to work with a Life Coach who will help you get clear on the life you want for yourself and celebrate you from day one, click below to set up a free coaching consultation.