Healthy Happy Habits for Stay-at-Home Moms

We might think that to be healthy and happy in our lives at home we need to adopt new habits - such as exercising more often, drinking more water, eating more vegetables and finding more time for self-care.

But what if the only thing you needed to do was to be more you? What if you switched your focus from trying to make sure everyone else is happy and healthy to doing what lights YOU up, putting more of your TRUE self out there, and following the breadcrumbs of what feels good to you as you move through your days with your kids?

And what if you could truly believe that none of this was selfish - that living in the overwhelm of trying to do and be everything to everyone, and inevitably becoming exhausted, depleted and stressed in the process, is what actually makes it impossible for anyone to thrive?

Being more YOU can only ever add value to the world and can be as simple as giving yourself permission to remember who you are, as you center your day around these three habits: 

1. Focus on what you WANT rather than what you think others expect of you

When you’re perpetually telling yourself that you “should” be doing certain things all day long - like cleaning and tidying and meal prep and laundry - you’re pushing yourself to meet certain standards and expectations you may not even be aware you’re striving for (or even know where they came from!). 

A “should” really means “I want to want to, but I don’t want to” and you’ll certainly never gladly carry out these tasks when you have no desire at all to do them. Of course, our intention is not to be happy all the time - life is always going to be 50/50 - but it can be life-changing to realize that we don’t HAVE to do anything, and that we GET to do the things we want to do. Tasks like cooking and cleaning then get done because we want a clean(-ish) house and some home-cooked meals, and they get done according to our own standards and comfort levels, not according to any external influence or pressure.

So it’s important to take time to think about what we truly want for ourselves, and also to know what our values are, so that we can plan to spend our time aligned with them, whilst giving ourselves permission to stop performing to anyone else’s standards.  

2. Pay attention to the sensations in your body

Sometimes, though, our brains can offer that we truly have no idea what we want for our lives at home, and that we don’t actually know what’s important to us - especially after years of focusing exclusively on other people.

The good news is that our bodies always have wisdom for us, and that when we start paying attention to what we’re feeling - perhaps for the first time - we start to gather this information and learn how to use it.  

We spend so much time making ourselves wrong for all the ways we don’t measure up that it never even enters our minds to stop looking for what needs fixing (nothing at all!) and start noticing all the ways that we, exactly as we are, are right where we’re meant to be and profoundly right in who we are.

And this comes from practicing feeling that way in our bodies - through experiencing the joy of being in movement, in dance, in singing, or breathwork, or noticing the things around you that bring you pleasure, or breathing in the fresh air - and following the breadcrumbs of what feels good and right to you.

And - from there - you start to really notice when someone says something that doesn’t sit right with you, or when you find yourself in a situation that feels somehow “off”, and you then find yourself no longer thinking yourself out of what your body knows to be true - but rather believing in its wisdom and trusting YOU.

3. Cultivate curiosity

Every day we see just how curious our children are about the world around them, yet we rarely think to get curious about what’s going on within ourselves.

If we feel we haven’t done enough that day, we’re quick to call ourselves “lazy” rather than asking questions like, “why do I need so much rest right now?” and looking at what exactly is going on in our lives.

If we’re procrastinating our way through our days, we tell ourselves there’s something inherently wrong with us rather than getting curious about what we could possibly be gaining from not getting things done.

If we’re quick to snap and react in anger to something our kids do often, we tend to jump straight to judgment rather than questioning why that behavior triggers us or noticing the patterns that have emerged.

And when we beat ourselves up and tell ourselves things like, “I don’t have time for this” or “this shouldn’t still bother me” our thought loops keep that emotion firmly stuck and prolong our suffering unnecessarily. 

But allowing ourselves to be in our feelings for even just a few seconds longer than we normally would - perhaps whilst closing our eyes and placing a comforting hand on our cheek - and being curious about what message they might have for us can result in the emotion passing through us in as little as 90 seconds.

If you’d like help incorporating these habits into your days at home with your kids or to take a look together at what’s stopping you from living the life you imagined when you first chose to become a stay-at-home mom, click on the link below to set up a free coaching consultation.