The Life-Changing Magic of a Mama Morning Routine

How many mornings of your life as a stay-at-home mom have looked like this:

You torpedo into your kids’ bedrooms to snap open blinds and sleepy eyes, then rush back to the kitchen to shovel down toast and coffee before hauling your little ones out of bed by the armpits, wiping sweat and butter off your brow as you go? You feel the panic rising in your chest as you race against the clock, terrified that a single meltdown or lost shoe could derail your entire day at any given moment?  

For me it was probably nine mornings out of ten.

The saga would continue with an almost comical sprint to school - the girls tripping over the straps of bags they refused to wear on their backs; the Baby Bjorn holding my youngest jiggling so vigorously that her little legs looked like they could flail right off!

Except none of it was funny.

I was so ashamed. I’d see the other moms and nannies, whose kids had the fortune of a slightly later drop-off time, going calmly about their day, and inwardly berate myself as I staggered under the weight of their judgement, even as we flew by.

I knew things desperately needed to change. So I finally started a morning routine after years of passionately resisting the idea of getting up even one minute earlier than I absolutely had to.

And the results have been life-changing.

Taking that time for me alone has meant my day now starts exactly as I choose - I’m no longer playing catch-up from the second I open my eyes. I have taken back control, not just of my morning, but of my entire day. At the end of my routine, I wake the girls feeling relaxed and happy, knowing we have plenty of time to get our day started. Breakfast is now the time I feel most connected as a family because I can be fully present, with my focus firmly on them. I love nothing more than hearing about their strange dreams, or their plans with their friends for school that day. The older two (aged 6 and 7) get ready entirely independently and, of course, prove themselves perfectly capable now that they’re no longer rushed through each step and have plenty of time to figure out stiff buttons or uncooperative shoelaces.

This is how my day starts, and this is how it (usually) continues, and my feelings of panic and shame are now a thing of the past. I am calm, in control, playful and so much more fun, which is exactly how I always wanted to be.

So how do you start?

The most important thing to remember is that this is YOUR morning routine, so all that matters is that you find the activities that are going to make this magical for YOU.

1. The 15-minute rule

Start by setting your alarm just 15 minutes earlier than you usually would. This seems to be the method most sleep experts recommend when you want to adjust your wake-up time for long-term success. Get up as soon as your alarm goes off and, most importantly, do not look at your phone. These precious 15 minutes are definitely not the time to get lost in a social media scroll hole.

Then start with an activity that you love. What’s that one thing you’ve been yearning to get back to ever since becoming a mom, but have told yourself is no longer possible for you? Reading? Writing? Personal development? Stretching? A walk outside in the quiet of the morning? Journaling? Whatever you pick, make sure it’s something that truly lights you up so that you’re motivated to get up out of bed rather than hit the snooze button. 

And if you really have no idea what it is you’d love to do, try sitting by a window with a cup of tea, or coffee, or a large glass of water, and just be in the moment, without any pressure to get anything practical done. You’ll be amazed at the difference having time to think - with no interruptions - will make for you!

Once you’ve consistently done this one 15-minute activity for an entire week, set your alarm back a further 15 minutes so that you’re now getting up 30 minutes earlier than you used to, and then add another 15-minute activity to your routine. Extend it by 15 minutes again the following week, if you wish! It’s totally up to you how long you want your morning routine to be, based on what you want to do with this precious time alone.

Some suggestions for activities are:

• Listen to a podcast

• Read a book

• Breathwork

• Meditation

• Work out

• Watch a TED talk

• Listen to music

• Take a walk outside

• Keep a dream journal

• Visualize how you want to feel during each part of your day 

• Practice gratitude - write down 3-5 things you are grateful for

• Affirmations - positive statements spoken out loud

• Morning Pages - write three pages by hand about whatever is on your mind (from Julia Cameron’s ‘The Artist’s Way’) 

When you have your chosen activities written down, put them in order based on what makes most sense for you. I, myself, now have an hour-long morning routine because I decided it was important for me to get in 30 minutes of exercise at the start of my day. I put my work-out activity at the end of my routine because I know that, if one of the girls happens to wake up early and interrupt me, I can easily go right back to exercising (having adapted to interrupted work-outs over many years!). If I happened to be in the middle of journaling, for example, I know I’d be much less likely to be able to pick up where I left off.

2. Remove any decisions you have to make

Once you have the order of your activities fixed in your mind, the only concept you have to remember is that the act of putting your feet on the floor as you get out of bed sets your entire morning routine in motion. One activity flows directly on to the next...from using the bathroom, to getting a glass of water, to opening your journal… and so on until you finish your routine and go wake up your kids. There are no decisions to be made at all between you getting up and you walking to your kids’ bedrooms, so your morning routine is not up for negotiation at any point! This will also help prevent you from pottering around the kitchen or getting distracted by a dishwasher that needs emptying. Remember - this is intentional time for you to use exactly as you want. 

Naturally, it’s possible that you might not be able to do your morning routine every single day - if your kids are sick, for example, or your schedule needs to change for a couple of days. But it’s very important to catch yourself when you then inevitably start thinking you might as well give up once you’ve taken a break for a day or two. Remind yourself of how important it is for you to take this time just for you and, most importantly, be kind to yourself and truly believe you’re doing your very best. 

3. Decide on your non-negotiables

You can, of course, switch up your morning routine as many times as you’d like, and you certainly don’t have to stick to a 15-minute time frame for each activity.  But it’s important to find out which activities bring the most benefit to your wellbeing and to put those at the core of any future versions of your routine.

For me, my non-negotiables are my gratitude journal (writing down five things I’m grateful for each day) and my Morning Pages. Practicing gratitude really sets the tone for my entire day and makes me feel so much more positive, no matter what’s going on in my life at the time. My Morning Pages have also had a tremendous impact on me because they’ve given me the opportunity to really get to know and love myself and my thoughts.

If you like the idea of journaling but feel you simply would not know where to start when faced with a blank page, I highly recommend the book ‘Mirror Work’ by Louise Hay. This 21-day program not only introduced me to the concept of affirmations, which are positive statements spoken out loud while looking in the mirror (such as “I love and approve of myself,” or “I am a wonderful, capable being”), but also include journaling prompts to be completed each day. After just one week of following the program, I truly began to believe the positive statements I was making about myself.    

My own morning routine now looks like this:

• First thing: 10 long, slow breaths followed by a large glass of water

• 15 minutes: Morning Pages, followed by jotting down five things I am grateful for

• 5-10 minutes: Guided meditation

• 10 minutes: Read a book

• 30 minutes: Exercise

The joy that I experience both from this time alone and the feeling of starting out my day ahead rather than scrambling to catch up, makes my morning routine well worth the earlier wake-up time for me. It doesn't happen every morning, especially if I have a late night and feel I need the extra sleep, but I always make sure I get right back on track because the benefits have been truly life-changing for me.  

If you feel you’d like some support in getting yourself up in the morning and staying on track with your routine, please join me in my Facebook group ‘joyFULL mamas connect’ where I’ll be more than happy to help keep you accountable!